I NEVER SAID THAT!

A UNIQUE TRAGEDY

Equality

To the great thrill of Trump followers, to the huge disappointment of the democrats, and to the horror of the world, Trump has emerged as the next president of the No-More-United States of America. The best con the world has seen. Time for an Idiot’s Guide on How to pull off a Presidency.

An election won with followers holding up placards portraying the lady opponent with a noose around her neck. Won with shouts of “lock her up”, with hordes of supporters raising their fists in the air, shouting, ‘Kill her’. So much venom, shades of the Ku Klux Klan. One political button said: “KFC Hilary Special: Two Fat thighs, two small breasts, one left wing” – such disgusting personal attacks by Trump followers. Not only did the president-to-be condone what was said and done but he himself had a whole list. He called her a nasty woman, said she was a liar, and insulted her with personal and gender remarks.

A new ugly tribe is born.

Time to wonder how a democracy can get it so wrong. A flawed and an unique American election in which one party can get fewer individual votes and win.

Trump does not have to spend time worrying about running his country or building relations with the rest of the world. He has his family, and his team of advisers to do that. He can attend to urgent matters – Him…The Tweeter. Emperor Tyranny Trump.

“Y’all just go make America big, do you hear. Make it the best in the world.”

One might ask:

What about China?

“China, don’t worry about them. Just cancel all trade deals. Bring all the Chinese companies to America so they can work in-country. We need those cheap goods. We don’t even have to pay them minimum wage. Keep our people safe from those dangerous factory floors. We can keep an eye on those foreigners who manipulate our currency, steal our intellectual property.”

What about Free Trade?

“What Free Trade? What Geneva Convention? What NATO? Rip them up. They’ve been no good to anybody.”

Russia?

“Putin and I, yes, we are pals. It is not like I’m in Alaska looking out of my window to see Russia. We have a relationship; we have a deep understanding. He can do whatever he likes. I am all for that. Lock up all his dissenters, torture them. I trust him.”

You are conservative, right?

“Who? Me, a conservative? Nah, I have gone through two wives, now married to a third. My children have different mothers. My wife has posed nude. You know she has a beautiful body. Go check the internet, if you don’t believe me. And what more I love women. I have groped so many young women, they just love it. I’m a family man with values.”

What about LGBT?

“No. I don’t tolerate those. I am a Christian. The Christian God did not make them. Some other god must have created them. That is why I feel we should not tolerate other religions. Like the Muslims. No more! They are not going to come our country spread terrorism. All those who are here should go back?”

Back to where?

“To anywhere, to where they came from. If they have nowhere to go that’s their problem. We will not allow Muslims into this country.”

What about your friend, the Malaysian Prime Minister, the man cleared of billions involved with 1MDB debt? He’s a Muslim.

“He’s an exception. He’s my favourite prime minister, Najib Razak. We are golf buddies. I even signed a selfie of us for him. ‘To my favourite Prime Minister’.”

Climate change?

“No I don’t believe in all that, it isn’t real. But if you ask me about El Nino. Now there’s something to worry about. The reason I want to build a 2,000 mile wall. Keep the Mexicans out, all those El Ninos and the El Ninas.”

It’s been said you are against abortion. You have been accused of being a racist, a sexist, a cynic. They say you are a homophobic, xenophobic, Islamaphobic promoting hate, preaching intolerance’.

“All lies, not true. Lies!  Listen to what I say not what is said about me.”

What are your plans when you are in the White House?

“I have an eight-year plan in the White House. I am all for transparency. It is going to be the best reality show. The world will get it live, stream it through the universe.”

THE END

… of the world as we know it. Let us not be lulled into a new norm.