Flying Business Class

He called me ‘Sir’

It is not often I fly business class these days.

When I ran my antique business it was a viable proposition, besides the fact I had more luggage allowance I could also freight suitcases unaccompanied.

Some progress has been made over the years with regards to single women travelling. It is good to see that women business class passengers, especially me, a 5th. class citizen, do not get the ‘you-have-no-business-in-this-class’ look, or a quick once over, to see, which man was foolish enough to have picked me up. Here I must explain how I’m 5th class – priority-wise there is white man, coloured man, white woman, other, and then me, the dark one. But these days I get the same lovely charming smile and welcome as the other species, and good service.

Of all the trips I have made over the years the recent one stands out as quite unique. In a two seat arrangement I settle in comfortably next to a Chinese gentleman with the aura of an iceberg and the look of an active volcano. A beautiful young stewardess comes over and kneels by me, looks lovingly at Mr. IcebergVolcano and me as if we are a honeymoon couple and says ‘Welcome aboard Mr. and Mrs. Panikar’. Noticing my look of surprise that both my deceased parents are travelling unknown to me, and the scowl from the male passenger next to me, she quickly glances down her clipboard. She says, ‘Oh, Ms. Panikar, what would you like to have to drink.’ I order my standard champagne. Note no shock registered, no hidden smirk. She stands up with much grace and walks away, not bothering with my fellow passenger. The stewardess on the other isle would serve him.

When it is time for lunch, we have starters served individually with the flourish of a Michelin standard restaurant. Main course. A tall, handsome steward, collapses down to my sitting height with a tray for my selection, ‘Your Food Sir’ he says. I look at tray offered, three dishes: Chicken and rice, Seafood and pasta, Beef and noodles. And I say ‘Vegetarian’. And he says ‘Yes, Sir,’ and walks away not saluting. Everyone is extremely courteous and the staff rustle up a vegetarian meal. Quite inedible, but that’s not the point.

After lunch I settle down to reading my Kindle, there’s a bit of a turbulence and an airhostess rushes up to me and tells me I am not allowed to use my computer (Kindle not connected and lighter than a paperback).

Plane landed, trip over, we file out. One hostess hangs on to the dividing curtain with one hand preventing economy passengers charging out. She clutches her mobile phone with the other and is furiously chatting while the passengers squeeze past her.

In my many years of air-travel I was of the opinion in-flight magazines are complimentary. I could be wrong about this. From time to time I have taken my copy home. This time as I exit the plane the other stewardess at the gate thanks me for flying with them and then snatches the magazine off my hand. I am stunned, stop short in my tracks, smile and ask, ‘May have it’. She is sweet, smiling too. She gives it to me, ‘Sure’.

Wonder what creative changes I can expect on my next trip.
Guess flying could be boring without these incidents, my mini adventures.